The time I burnt my own hair!!

I have been hooked on to this Taylor Swift song - Bad blood for some time now. It portrays the emotions that arise inside you when a great relationship (that she calls mad love) turns sour (she calls it bad blood). There are a hundred emotions that arise like confusion, pain, sadness, but I think the most dominant one is - anger (unless you are an absolute saint). I am quite bad at expressing anger so I keep it to myself and brood over every little detail silently. I recently spent a good one month being angry with a person (day in and day out). I had lost all good sense and cultivated my anger into this all-consuming hatred for everything around me that connected to this person.

On a really low day in this month I was blow-drying my hair preoccupied with thoughts of another hateful incident about this person. I didn't even realize how and when I ended up burning a whole big chunk of hair. It just fell out of my head along with the hair brush. I once read a newspaper article titled ' The lonely, silent brooder is poison only to himself' and nodded along thinking 'one should never do that'. But don't the wise women of the world say - 'never say never'. My anger did poison me or at least my hair. Don't believe me, see for yourself!

The poor chunk of burnt hair lying on the floor, clicked the following evening !!

That one blow dry session was enough for me to learn my lesson and I started dealing with my anger. We have all been in such angry situations so I wanted to share what worked for me in dealing with it.

What to Do

1. Take a look at yourself in the mirror at your angriest moment. Like what you see?? I don't think so. Resolve to change this.
2. Meditate. A lot. It helped me calm down my nerves and stay centred.
3. Box it out - If you cannot meditate or do not like to then give another outlet to your anger. Run, work out, box (not the person concerned), paint, shout (on a rooftop all alone), take a bubble bath, hot shower, go shopping or whatever it takes to calm your nerves.
4. When you are calm, reflect on the situation and identify if there is any piece of the relationship worth saving - Don't get into the 'why did it happen' while you reflect. Just think of what happened and if you think it is fixable for you.
5. If yes, hold on to that piece and go talk to the person about what makes you mad and what you think can be done to fix this. Who knows, the other person might have a piece to hold on to as well.
6. If not, acknowledge that the relationship is over and move on. Stop brooding. Move on. Some relations are forever and some come with a shelf-life. Categorize them correctly.

What not to Do

1. At all costs, avoid going and talking to the person in an angry moment. You will end up doing more harm than good.
2. Gossiping about the situation with others. Coz you are a better person than that. Remember there is a difference between sharing your problem and gossiping. Don't cross the fine line.
3. Brooding - Silent, lonely brooder - ends up burning their own hair. 
4. Blow drying your hair on an angry day - just stand out on the balcony and let the wind take care of you and your hair.
5. Punching this person in the nose - it might seem like a tempting idea, but it doesn't help. No, I didn't try this to find out, I knew better!!

Can you think of a time when you have been in one such relationship? What did you do? Got any better ideas or worse experiences? Share if you have one!!