Here's The Deal - I am not ready to let go!!

How long does it take to let go? There are some experiences and some snapshots of our life that are forever etched in our mind. We call them memories. Of the times when we were happy or sad or ecstatic or in love or betrayed. These are emotions that come to life when you relive a memory.

I am lucky to have a lot of these - memories - good and bad. Right from my school days - of friends that I didn't consider close back then but have taught me so much in hindsight. Of friends that loved me then and love me now. Of friends that I thought I wouldn't survive without but don't really matter anymore. And of friends who betrayed my trust. It's been a few years and then some years and then some more (God, I am old😛) since I got out of school. But the memories are still fresh - as a HD picture. A Picture!!

The good ones used to make me laugh and cry at the same time and the bad ones stung for a long long time. And then at some point of time they stopped stinging. I guess I let go of the emotions attached. The vision is still as fresh and the memory is clear but it doesn't hurt me anymore. Doesn't bring about any emotions. And that's what worries me!!

I have some extremely happy memories of my life in the past few years. The ones that made me smile, the ones that shaped my life and the ones that I want to hold on to forever. Coz that's all I have right now - memories. I know I won't be able to live those moments again. Each time I think back to any of those beautiful days my heart skips with joy. I can relive any of these moments and be happy even on the worst days. Sometimes that's what keeps me going.

With my school time memories, I didn't let go of the emotions intentionally. I guess they just died inside me. The heart breaks, the tears and the betrayal (that's seems like the theme of this post 😛) just stopped hurting. The laughter in the class, in the school hallways, around the town just doesn't ring in my ears anymore.

In couple of years from now (and then some more and then some more), will the good memories I made in the past few years die down as well? Just remain pictures without sound or motion or emotions?? Here's the deal - I am not ready to let go!! Not unless I make some new ones which make my heart flutter !!

I think the question really is whether you want to let go and how do you know if you do!!